New York, You're Perfect
by Definitely
Summary: Everyone knows that Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were meant to be together forever, so when Kurt left without an explanation both of their World's were completely shaken. Five years on in New York and Blaine happens to be in the audience of a Broadway production of Grease, with none other than Kurt Hummel playing the lead. How can he help but fall in love all over again?
1. Chapter 1

The music blared around the club; loud, obnoxious and making the throbbing in Kurt's temples kick it up a notch. He put his empty glass down on the bar, feeling slightly too hot and suddenly felt the need to get out of bustling room. He didn't need to be here anymore, the party for him had wound down hours before, and now he was near enough alone as all his friends had headed off to pick up girls for the night or some other mundane activity he didn't care about. If he was perfectly honest, he hadn't actually wanted to come out tonight. It was more of an obligation than anything, considering the original party he'd been at was in honour of his big break.

That's right; Kurt Hummel was now a Broadway star as of the previous night. After five years in New York of hard times, endless auditions and singing in pubs and café's just to make ends meet, he had finally gotten his big break and was now playing Danny Zuko in the latest revival of Grease. Now he and his friends were all out celebrating after their opening night. But as exciting and wonderful and dream-come-true-esque the evening had been (after all, he'd been singing as the lead in an iconic musical before a packed audience on a Broadway stage), he couldn't help but be haunted by the memories of the past five anniversaries of this date. August 22nd; Blaine Anderson's birthday. He would never acknowledge this aloud, but this date still meant the World to him, even after all this time. Last year he'd spent the night alone in his apartment, blasting Katy Perry's _Teenage Dream_ on repeat at top volume and steadily drinking his way into a hospital bed. The same could be said for the year before that, and every August 22nd for the past five years. Very few people really recognised the pattern, and those that did didn't understand the significance of the date, because after the break-up, Kurt had cut ties with everyone, even his brother, who might, in five years time, remember the birthday of his high-school boyfriend.

Finally able to escape the throngs of people dancing and grinding and making out on the dance floor, Kurt burst out of the front door into the cold air. _It must be close to sunrise_, he thought idly, taking it the faint light casting soft shadows on the street as he made his way across towards his apartment. He made his way up the dingy staircase of his building, passing dirty white doors until he reached one painted a bright scarlet. He was Kurt Hummel; of course he had to stand out somehow. He slammed the door behind him, and made his way over to where his laptop was open on his desk. He pulled up his facebook page, ignoring the little red banner in the corner informing him of a new notification as his fingers went into autopilot, typing in the name of the birthday boy himself. It was definitely not the first time he'd done this, looked up Blaine's facebook page that is, but before he'd never felt the urge to message something, leave some evidence of his past with the handsome boy, smiling slightly with and arm slung over the shoulder of Kurt's own brother in the display picture. He clicked hesitantly on the message button, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he debated whether he really wanted to do this.

_Happy Birthday Blaine! Have a good day and try not to make out with Rachel St James when you got trashed ;) Jesse would appreciate it even less than I did!_

_Love,_

_Kurt xx_

He pressed send before he could rethink his words, and almost immediately that sinking feeling of nervousness turned his stomach, as though he'd just made a terrible mistake. Clapping a hand to his mouth he spun around, racing into the pokey bathroom just off to the side of his room, before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. Full all of a sudden with listless, hopeless depression, he leaned back against the wall where he promptly fell asleep. He didn't even hear the ping of his laptop, indicating he'd received a new message.

Blaine groaned as he looked at the hoarde of people standing outside his door complete with presents and balloons. He hadn't even gotten dressed yet, but they were already pushing their way into his apartment with smiles and well-wishes.

"Alright, go in. I'll get dressed and be down in a second." He sighed, trying to hide his amusement as he pushed Rachel's husband Jesse in the direction of the living room. He bounded up the stairs taking them two at a time, stumbling into his bedroom with a smile spread across his face. He grabbed a polo shirt hanging over the back of his chair, exchanging it with the 'Likes Boys' t-shirt that was slightly small on him now but he couldn't bear to part with. He laid the t-shirt on the bed almost reverently, a solemn expression replacing the grin as he wondered what Kurt was doing now. Would he even remember Blaine, and his birthday, or had he moved on, gotten caught up with New York life and never looked back? As if in response to his thoughts, Blaine's laptop pinged as it had been all morning with facebook birthday wishes and all. Shaking off his sad thoughts he headed over, pulling a pair of chinos on as he leaned over the laptop. One hand still on the button, he clicked open the message, only to freeze completely. Smiling up at his from the tiny thumbnail picture was the face of the boy he'd just been thinking about; the boy he'd seen neither hide nor hair from since they'd broken up five years before. He knew Kurt had gone to New York, chasing his dreams as Blaine had always known he would, but he knew nothing of his life since then.

_Happy Birthday Blaine! Have a good day and try not to make out with Rachel St James when you got trashed ;)_

_Love,_

_Kurt xx_

Blaine was stunned, frozen to the spot, unable to breathe or see anything other than the few computerised words on his screen, and the tiny face of the boy whose fingers they'd flowed from. It must've been at least five minutes before he was able to move again, his fingers automatically flying to the keyboard and typing a response, sending it before the words could even register with his brain.

_Thankyou Kurt! It's good to hear from you again. Well, it might be worth the beating Jesse would give me if it got the same reaction from you. You're jealous face was adorable. _

_I miss you,_

_Blaine xx_

He made sure to flip the screen closed before bouncing back down the stairs, unable to wipe the silly grin from his face.

"You have way too much energy for this time of the morning!" Jesse groaned as Blaine bounded up to him, enveloping him in a warm hug.

"It's almost midday, and you're the one who turned up on my doorstep at this time in the morning ready to celebrate!" Blaine chuckled, ruffling his hair which caused Jesse to roll his eyes irritably. Someone was definitely not a morning person.

"Blame the missus!" He muttered, winking coyly at Blaine, while Rachel stood by oblivious. For all Jesse's faults in the past, Blaine couldn't help but admire and envy his relationship with Rachel. She'd been to NYADA as everyone always knew she would, but what they didn't know is Jesse too was relocating to the school in New York. Almost upon arriving they'd been cast as leads in the college's production of Spring Awakening and their relationship had recovered and developed from there. Blaine had attempted a semester at Ohio State, before transferring to NYU in the hope that he'd find inspiration and a dream to pursue there, and maybe, just maybe, bump into Kurt somewhere along the way. Five years on and he was an NYU Graduate, working hard at producing a demo album and playing gigs in pubs, cafés and even the occasional bookstore to keep up with rent. He also had a regular waiter job in a local restaurant so he wasn't completely strapped for cash. The only thing missing, he sighed, was Kurt. But he had Eli now, and the boy in question was sitting on his sofa, a broad smile on his handsome face.

"Happy Birthday, Blaine." Eli whispered, pulling his boyfriend down onto his lap for a quick kiss. Blaine couldn't help but notice the lack of spark, the lack of excitement, especially after the joy he'd felt at reading Kurt's reply. Kurt, who had not only messaged him out of the blue, but had remembered his birthday and everything, he couldn't help but smile at even the thought.

"So what's the plan for today guys?" He asked, looking away from his boyfriend at the group of five surrounding him. Along with Eli and Rachel and Jesse, there were also a couple of friends of his from NYU who he'd stayed in contact with, George and Miller.

"Well, we are going to sit here and watch you open your presents." Miller stepped forwards slightly

"I told you not to buy me anything." He groaned, but Miller just shrugged

"And we chose to discount what you said." He smirked, "Anyway, we're going sit around and watch you open your presents, then we're going to go out for lunch, and tonight we're all going out." The tone of his voice left no room for argument and Blaine rolled his eyes as a pile of cards was thrust into his hands by Rachel.

"Now let's get started, I'm hungry."

An hour later and Blaine was sliding his fingers under the final envelope. His friends had completely spoilt him, giving him clothes and sheet music and CD's and, hilariously, a box full of bowties. They really weren't going to let the whole bowtie thing go, were they? He hadn't even worn one in years. Flipping open the envelope he pulled out two tickets to go and see Grease on Broadway. His jaw dropped.

"Guys, you did not do this. No way, this is way too much money." He was still holding the envelope, tickets limp in his hands.

"Chill out Blaine, Jesse and I were going anyway, and then George and Miller decided they wanted to come too, so we figured if we all chipped in it wouldn't cost much, plus I know a guy who got us discount." Rachel shrugged, and he looked down at the date on them. "Guys, these are for today, as in two hours time?"

"Yes," Jesse rolled his eyes, as though Blaine was being completely dense "You didn't think we were going to his the clubbing scene after lunch, did you?"

"Ah, I guess that actually makes sense." He smiled, realising his idiocy. "But are you guys sure, I don't want you to have spent this much on me?" George took the honours of slapping him upside the head.

"This is your birthday present, you are our best friend, we're not going to let you pay. Now go get dressed properly, because I refuse to go to the theatre with you looking like that." Blaine turned back to Eli, pressing a brief kiss to his lips as he shot him a stunning grin.

"Thankyou guys, thank you all so much!" He bubbled, before racing once more up the stairs.

Two hours later found the six of them sitting in front row seats as the curtains began to rise on the stage before them. Blaine recognised the music instantly, seeing the two silhouettes on either side of the stage, facing away from the audience as the opening music for Summer Nights rang around the hall. He grinned, this musical may be cheesy, but he'd always kind of loved it; it was a bit of a guilty pleasure of his. Suddenly the boy playing Danny turned around, belting out the first line of the song in a voice that sent chills down his spine. Even if he hadn't recognised that face, that voice was impossible not to remember. Although he was on a Broadway stage with a microphone taped to his face, that voice had not changed at all. If nothing else, it just proved that Kurt was already a star, even in high school. He felt Rachel grab his hand tightly, knowing she was staring at him aghast, but couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from the tall, slim figure that was now standing at the front of the stage, surrounded by other insignificant people.

"Did you know?" He breathed, finally turning to meet Rachel's eyes. She looked moments away from crying, terrified and emotional, and Blaine had his answer there and then. He reached over, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulders and kissing her head as the voice they both knew better than each others' continued to hit every note perfectly.

"Of course not." She whispered back, still completely shocked, "But he made it Blaine, he's really made it." Even though surprise was tangible in her voice, he could tell she was smiling, and to his surprise he found himself doing exactly the same as they settled to watch their best friend win over the audience.

"Yeah, he has." But Blaine, unlike Rachel, had always known he would.

"Blaine?" Eli asked, startling Blaine from his deep thoughts as they sat at the bar, "You look sad, what are you thinking?" The concerned look in his eye was unmistakeable, but Blaine couldn't help but sigh inwardly. Sure Eli was his boyfriend, but he didn't need to know every thought that ran through his mind, especially when he was completely unaware of even the existence of Kurt.

"I'm fine babe," He forced a smile, "You had a good day?"

"Yeah, I can't believe I've never seen a show on Broadway before." Unlike the other five, Eli was completely unmusical and had no interest in theatre. He'd done an economics degree at Colombia, and was more interested in business than arts. "The guy playing Danny was amazing though, Curtis Pummel or something?" Blaine winced at the choice of subject, but couldn't help but correct his boyfriend.

"Kurt Hummel." He muttered, picking up his drink and knocking it back, ignoring the burning of alcohol down his throat. "Yeah, he was good."

"Good, his voice was like an angel's Blaine? Were you even at the same show I was? Plus he was completely smoking, I mean, did you see those arms? Celebrity crush right there." Eli swooned, laughing playfully, completely oblivious to the stab of pain his words sent through Blaine's heart. _If only you knew, _he thought mournfully,_ I've done more than just see those arms._ Spying Rachel and Jesse over Eli's shoulder he sent them a look that was nothing less than a desperate plea for help. Immediately Rachel knew what he needed, and grabbed George's arm, towing him over to where the two boys were sat at the bar.

"Hey Eli, George was wondering if you wanted to dance?" She smiled sweetly, stepping subtly on George's toe when he looked at her as if to argue. Eli turned to look at Blaine, who waved him off easily,

"Feel free babe, I don't really feel like dancing tonight anyway." Eli leaned down and kissed Blaine's cheek, before hurrying off to the dance floor with George, who threw a confused glance over his shoulder at the threesome that was now tightly huddled together.

"What's up B?" Jesse asked casually, but both Blaine and Rachel just shot him a sharp look telling him to drop the act and he heaved a sigh. "Eli stuck his foot in it?" Blaine nodded sadly, ordering another shot from the bartender, who shot him a mildly concerned glance before complying and heading off to serve someone else.

"That was Kurt on that stage. Kurt! The love of my life that Eli doesn't even know existed! And then we get here and Eli's all 'did you see his arms?' and 'he sings like an angel' and 'he's my new celebrity crush'. Can that be any more awkward?" He downed the shot again, this time wincing at the alcohol burn.

"Jeez, that guy really is oblivious, isn't he?" Rachel sighed, slapping a hand to her forehead dramatically.

"He's crushing on my ex. My current boyfriend is crushing on my ex, and I'm totally jealous!" He saw the looks of surprise on their faces and shook his head, realising how they must've interpreted his words, "Not like that. But if Eli can see how beautiful Kurt is, what's to stop someone else seeing that? I don't even know if he is seeing anyone or not, but just seeing someone look at him with admiration is making me feel sick. Am I the most pathetic thing on Earth?" He slumped forwards, pressing his burning forehead to the cool bar. Rachel ran a hand lightly up and down his back.

"You're not pathetic dude, just in love." Jesse shrugged, and Blaine couldn't help but agree in part. "I mean, that was Kurt up there."

"A miracle in itself." Rachel smirked slightly, and Blaine caught the sadness in her tone.

"Nah, he was born to sing on a Broadway stage, I never had any doubts."

"I didn't mean it like that, but you've been living in the area for what, five years? And the day that you finally hear from him, he's there at the show you're watching." She smiled coyly, and Blaine could've sworn he cricked his neck with the speed he turned to look at her.

"You looked at my facebook?" She nodded, a huge smirk on her lips now. "No, it really wouldn't be worth the beating Jesse would give you." Blaine groaned, but couldn't help the tiny smile that quirked his lips up.

"Someone care to explain?" Jesse interrupted, frowning in confusion.

"Kurt facebooked Blaine saying happy birthday, and that he hoped he wouldn't make out with me again when he had too much to drink." Jesse rolled his eyes.

"I forgot you're liable to make a move on my girl when you're under the influence." He wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist, tugging her away from him and making them both laugh.

"Blaine, what're you going to do?" Rachel asked quietly, sobering them all up.

"I don't know." There were a few moments full of tense, slightly awkward silence.

"Look, I'm just gonna come right out and say it." Jesse sighed, "You love Kurt, don't you?" Blaine nodded, rolling his eyes as though that was the most pointless statement ever uttered. "I say you go for it. I know what it's like to feel like you've lost the love of your life forever. It sucks, and it hurts. But then I got the opportunity to try and make things better with Rach, and I got everything I'd ever hoped for out of it."

"But what if he's already got somebody? What if he's moved on?"

"He won't have. If you love him this much, there's no way he can't at least feel something for you still. And even if there is someone else, make him forget them. You seem to be forgetting a certain Finn Hudson my wife used to be engaged to." Jesse was right, and Blaine sort of knew it, but still needed some convincing. "Look, what've you got to lose?" He shrugged, taking a sip of his own drink without breaking eye contact with Blaine.

"Eli. My pride. Any hope that maybe things can still work out."

"Firstly, if you remotely cared about losing Eli you wouldn't even be considering going after Kurt, so don't try and hide behind that screw-up. Secondly, you won't get anywhere being proud, I know Kurt destroyed you, but we saw what you two were like beforehand and there's no way he wasn't just as damaged by the break-up. Plus didn't he take the first step by messaging you? Thirdly, what's the point of hoping things will work out if you don't try and make them when you get the chance?"

"I really hate you being right." Blaine grumbled, but shot him a genuine smile, "Thankyou Jesse." The other boy just shrugged in a nonchalant fashion, as though to say 'what else am I here for?'

"So we're gonna go for it?" Rachel asked, a smile lighting up her dark eyes. Blaine nodded slowly,

"We're gonna go for it" It was then that the girl squealed, actually squealed, and threw her arms tight around Blaine's shoulders. He wound his arms around her waist, holding her tight and suddenly wishing he had another drink in his hand. Rachel pulled out of his arms just as Eli and George came prancing back, huge smiles on their sweaty faces, and Blaine felt tendrils of guilt squirm in his stomach. It wasn't that Eli wasn't a good guy, but he just wasn't Kurt.

"You were amazing last night!" Kurt's co-star Tessa smiled warmly at him. He shot her a smile in return, looking over from where they were sat in front of the make-up mirrors.

"Thanks, so were you. You absolutely killed 'Hopelessly Devoted'." She blushed prettily, her hands going to make sure her hair was still pulled back. They had less than twenty minutes until their next show, and Kurt felt his stomach churning sickeningly as it did before every performance. It didn't help that the latest message he'd sent to Blaine was still up on the screen, unanswered after more than 24 hours, and he was trying to quell the anger he aimed at himself for caring. Blaine had a life without him; Kurt couldn't expect him to drop everything to reply to some stupid facebook messages with somebody that he used to know. But he also couldn't get the curly haired man out of his thoughts, or heart for that matter.

"Come on guys, show circle." Billie, who played Rizzo called from the other side of the door, and Kurt pushed his chair back, shrugging on the leather jacket he'd donned for the role and shooting Tessa a small, nervous smile. She mirrored this expression, eyes flitting worriedly about the room; not that she had anything to worry about, she was wonderful. They made their way onto the stage, where the rest of the cast was already gathered, huddled together and speaking in whispered conversations. The noise from the crowd outside was reasonably loud still, suggesting they'd once again got a full house.

"Break a leg guys, you'll all be amazing. Just do what we did in rehearsal earlier and we'll be perfect." Johnny, who played Kenickie said, calling them all to order.

"Hear hear." Everyone agreed, wrapping arms around each others' shoulders as they bunched into a tight hug, before breaking to take their places. As soon as Kurt took his place, shoulders squared and back to the audience he felt his nerves drain away, and all thoughts of Blaine disappear from his mind. With a smirk on his face he waited until the curtain rose, the music began, and the show began.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt had never been more grateful to be paired with such a talented actress for Sandy. It was just before the intermission when it happened; he had just three or so lines before it was an even more successful first act than last night when his eyes caught someone in the front row of the audience. A curly haired, hazel eyed someone that made Kurt's heart skip a beat and his breath freeze in his chest. For just a moment he forgot he was on stage in front of hundreds of people, surrounded by actors waiting for him to deliver his line. For just a moment he was seventeen again, standing on a staircase and staring into the hazel eyes of a shortish boy in a navy blazer with red piping, feeling his heart thud in his chest in a way he'd never felt before in his life and wondering if perhaps love at first sight was real after all. It was just a second, but it was enough for him to stumble, miss his cue, and flush a bright red at his mistake. Tessa on the other hand remained calm, caught his eye, and mouthed his line subtly so he could simply repeat after her before the curtain fell closed. Even when everyone around him began moving, preparing for the second act, he remained frozen in his place, still uncertain whether he was just dreaming or not.

"Hey Kurt," Tessa whispered, drawing his attention, "You okay?" He didn't know how to respond, simply shaking his head almost imperceptibly as he felt tears threaten in his eyes.

"Blaine's here." He whispered, almost unable to believe it.

"Blaine? _The_ Blaine?" Tessa gasped, a hand clapping to her mouth in shock. She was the only person in his life anymore who knew about Blaine and their past together, and the only one that knew just how unhappy he was.

"Front row, third from the left." He muttered his face as white as ash, while Tessa jumped up to go and spy on him from the wings.

"Wow, he's hot!" She blurted, "You actually tapped that?" Her hands once again clapped to her mouth, eyes widening apologetically as her words caught up with her, but Kurt just laughed softly.

"Yeah, I guess I did. I just, I can't believe he's here. But then again, Grease was always a guilty pleasure of his." Tessa grinned, catching the tiny smile on Kurt's lips as he murmured to himself, "I can't believe he's here."

"Guys. Positions. Now!" Johnny hissed, narrowing his eyes at the pair, who scrambled up and made their way across the stage to begin the second act.

"You're the one that I want!" Kurt belted his eyes settling on Blaine in the audience. Until this song he'd been aware of the other boy's presence, attention always on him and him alone, but had been able to resist the urge he felt to meet his eyes again, however, apparently when singing a song about wanting someone, Blaine's magnetism was far too strong! He shot the handsome boy a small smile, catching the grin it prompted in response as he continued to dance and sing with Tessa, who looked stunning in her leather pants. She too caught where his eyes had strayed to, a smirk clear on her face as she raised an eyebrow. It was a testament to how much they'd practiced this dance that they could perform it flawlessly, even when so distracted. Finally Kurt grabbed her hands, pulling her into him while she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. Without thinking about how Blaine, his Blaine, was watching this, he leaned down to kiss her passionately as the script called for. They remained like that as everyone surrounded them, hiding the pair from view and allowing them to break apart. Tessa took a deep breath, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers before breaking forwards through the line of people in front of them, and falling instantly into the choreography for 'We Go Together'.

When it was over Kurt hurried back to his dressing room, unable to hide the grin on his face that had appeared when he'd caught the smile on Blaine's face at curtain call. Despite the slight flubbing of his lines when he'd first caught sight of Blaine, tonight had been the best performance of all, and the sweat sticking his thin white tee to his back was hard evidence. He was all set to shuck off his clothing and take a shower when he heard a voice outside the door.

"Excuse me Mr. Hummel. There is a man at the backstage door demanding we let him through to see you; he claims his name is Blaine Anderson and you know him. Should I get security to throw him out?"

"No!" He called almost too immediately, his voice slightly too loud and desperate, "No, I do know him. I'll head down there now to meet him. Thankyou Darren." Before he'd even finished his sentence he was running out of the room, grabbing the leather jacket and slinging it on, snatching his phone off the side and taking off down the corridor at a sprint. Tessa watched as he went careering wildly around the corners as his heavyweight boots skidded on the highly polished floors and smirked slightly to herself. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was Kurt Hummel.

Blaine was standing about five feet from the backstage door, flowers in hand as he alternated between shivering violently and shooting the security guard cold glares. Fair enough he _could_ be a stalker, wanting to brutally murder the lead in a Broadway play (unlikely, but possible) but he wasn't. And it was bloody freezing. And he really, really wanted to see Kurt. After ten minutes and still no sign of the tall, thin, beautiful love of his life, he sighed heavily and turned away; assuming Kurt wasn't going to see him after all. Trying to blink back his tears of disappointment and hurt, he turned away from the door and let the flowers hang limply in his hand. _This_ _was a stupid idea, after all!_ He berated himself. There were footsteps behind him, a person panting as they obviously ran wherever they were going; it was one of the things he loved about New York, people were always rushing around so purposefully. It's a shame really that Kurt wasn't one of them.

"I hope you weren't going to leave already." That beautiful angel's voice called after him, panting slightly and Blaine spun on his heel, not even bothering to hide the shock he was sure was clear on his face. "Blaine…" Kurt breathed. Kurt. He was right there, standing in a skin tight white t-shirt that clung to his chest, a leather jacket adding a slightly edgy look that Blaine couldn't deny was incredibly hot.

"Kurt." He whispered back, finding himself frozen to the spot with wide, surprised eyes. The bunch of flowers slid from his grasp, but neither boy cared, if they even noticed. Blaine would never know who it was who made that first move, but before he could blink they were in eachothers' arms. It felt amazing to be in Blaine's arms again; his chest was hard against Kurt's, his muscled arms holding him tight and making him feel more put together than he had in years, his hair was curlier than it used to be, and Blaine didn't have it plastered to his head with gel anymore. Kurt inhaled deeply, realising there were tears in his eyes as he breathed in a scent that could only be described as Blaine. Neither of them spoke, afraid to break the moment, but when Blaine tilted his face up to look at Kurt's, the taller boy didn't hesitate to press their lips together. It didn't matter that he knew nothing of this boy's life any more, it didn't matter that they'd not seen eachother in five years, all Kurt cared about was that he was here now, and he was so very tempting.

Blaine's eyes fluttered closed as he moved his lips fiercely against Kurt's. As they kissed passionately, desperately, Blaine was struck by how much he'd missed this boy in his arms. He'd known he was barely holding it together, not quite complete without a Hummel in his life, but now that Kurt was right there, kissing him like he had five years before, he felt like maybe he'd be able to get through life.

"God, I've missed you." He almost growled as he pulled away, desperate for air. "I've missed you so much. I feel like… like I can breathe again." He whispered, as hazel eyes met grey.

"Me too, Blaine. I've missed you so, so much! But I don't understand how are you here?"

"I live here now." Blaine breathed, "but we can talk later, just hold me again, please?" he almost begged, but Kurt was already tightening his grip on the shorter boy, resting his chin in the soft, curly hair, as tears spilled down his cheeks.

"I'll hold you forever!" He whispered, and Blaine felt his heart twist in pleasure-pain. He wouldn't be able to survive letting go of Kurt again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Blaine? Is that you?" Eli called as Blaine quietly closed the front door of their apartment, "You've been out for a while?"

"Yeah, I met up with a couple of old friends. I would've invited you, but it was kind of last minute." He smiled at the blonde man before him, trying to ignore the heavy sensation of guilt that churned his stomach. "How was your day?" He bent forwards and pecked his boyfriend on the cheek, knowing that he shouldn't keep up this domestic pretence. He should break up with Eli, because now Kurt was back in his life, his boyfriend would always be a second priority; not to mention he was in love with the other boy.

"Long, I really missed you. It feels like it's been days since we've seen eachother." Probably because it had been, Blaine thought to himself. He hadn't seen his boyfriend properly since his birthday a few days before.

"It has, fancy a movie night?" Blaine smiled down at the blonde, heading over to the TV and selecting any random movie, before taking his seat beside his boyfriend. While the anti-piracy adverts were playing, Blaine found his lips unexpectedly attached to Eli's, coaxing them violently, not that the other boy needed coaxing. Eli's hands locked tightly into his curls, pulling the back down onto the sofa, so Blaine was hovering over him, lips still fiercely melding together. Eli broke away, desperately panting for breath, and Blaine moved his kissed to his jaw line, his neck, tongue sweeping across that soft spot under his ear eliciting a breathless moan. Blaine wasn't sure how long they were kissing on that sofa, before Eli stopped it.

"Blaine," Eli pushed him away slightly, emerald eyes meeting hazel, and suddenly Blaine knew what his boyfriend was going to say, and in turn realised that with that kiss, he was preparing to say goodbye. Now that preparation was being ruined. "Blaine, I know we've not been together all that long, and I know you don't feel the same, but I'm so in love with you. Every day I fall for you, more and more. I love you, Blaine Anderson." Eli looked so innocent, so earnest, declaring his passionate love to a boy who was so far away from him. Blaine felt tears rise to his eyes, and felt sick with guilt, as his first coherent thought was; _how am I supposed to break up with him now?_

"Eli," Blaine whispered, forcing the name past the lump in his throat, "Eli."

"Shh, don't say anything back. I know you don't love me Blaine, but I hope that you will someday, and I can wait for however long that takes."

"I… I… I really do c-care about you," Blaine stammered, still desperately holding back tears as thoughts of a pale, elfin face with delicate yet masculine features swam across his mind. Oh Kurt, why did I have to find you now? No, he would always love Kurt more, whether in his life or not, and he would always be held back from Eli because of that. Eli really was amazing; so attentive and sweet and kind, desperate to impress and trying so hard to involve himself in Blaine's life and interests and friends. And Eli loved him so much; Blaine knew that right off the bat, but he knew that he was never meant to end up with Eli. Before he'd had a boyfriend mostly to prevent girls from hitting on him, but they were just casual flings and he'd ended them before any real attachments formed. He'd known things would be different with Eli, that he was growing to care for the man, but wasn't willing to break up with him yet. In some perverse way, Eli was the exception to the rule; that Blaine allowed himself some romantic feeling towards the man. But it wasn't enough. Eli would wait for him forever, and forever is how long he would have to wait because Blaine would never be able to love someone who wasn't Kurt. He had to end this now; it wasn't fair when he'd started their relationship, and it was even less fair now; he should end it. But then Eli bent his head and pressed their lips together again, and sure there might not have been fireworks, there wasn't even a spark, but it was nice, safe, comfortable. He was a selfish man, disgustingly so and undeserving of the angel who was kissing him so tenderly, and Blaine found himself kissing back because he wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. He wouldn't fool himself into believing that the day that he would have to wasn't rapidly approaching, but for tonight and perhaps tomorrow, he just let him sink into his boyfriends embrace, giving him what meagre portion of his shattered heart he could, and waiting for the moment when he would have to change the other boy's life irrevocably. Blaine was truly a selfish creature, but Eli loved him, and if he couldn't have Kurt yet, Eli was the next best thing.

"Kurt, you can't keep missing rehearsal." Derek sighed, glaring slightly at the man who stood before him with the most adorable puppy dog eyes he'd ever seen. "We need to be a team at the moment, and you cut it very fine getting back for the show last night." Kurt sighed, knowing he was right, but not wanting to give up just yet.

"Can I at least call Blaine and invite him here? That way I'll still be here to help out and run scenes and that, but I don't have to cancel on him?" Derek could see the begging look come back, and didn't have the heart to refuse him.

"Fine, but if you screw up at all tonight I will have your balls." Derek threatened, to which Kurt had to suppress a smile.

"Kinky." Kurt winked, grinning as he pulled his phone from the back pocket of his impossibly tight pants. How the man could still belt out such powerful notes in those skinny jeans, he would never know. As Kurt retreated, already putting the phone to his ear, Derek saw Tessa roll her eyes at him, but he just threw her a look as if to say 'You say no to that face."

"Hey Blaine," Kurt greeted as soon as he'd closed the door to his dressing room behind him,

"Hey Kurt, what's up?" The other man still had a lovely voice, even when passing through phone lines.

"Derek, our producer won't let me out of rehearsals again, but he says if you want to you can come to the theatre to watch and I'll be able to spend time with you in between scenes. Still up for it?" Kurt closed his eyes, silently praying that Blaine wouldn't be put off by the change in plans.

"Hang out in a Broadway theatre with you, how could I resist?" Kurt could practically hear Blaine's wink through the phone, and shook his head despairingly. There was a different, male voice on the other end calling Blaine's name, and Kurt's curiosity was peaked. Is it possible that Blaine had a boyfriend? Kurt dismissed that thought almost immediately, surely Blaine wouldn't be coming out on sort-of-dates with him if he had a boyfriend, not to mention that kiss the first night they'd met.

"Cool, come down whenever you want. You can use the front door this time and everything," Kurt teased, "Just tell them I said to let you straight in."

"Oooh, name dropping, I like it." Blaine smirked playfully, "I'll be there as soon as I can. See you, Kurt."

"Can't wait!" And then Kurt hung up, an inane smile on his face again.

Blaine walked into the large theatre to the sounds of a female singing 'Sandra Dee', and once again was stunned by how much more talented Kurt was than these other 'experienced' performers. Sure he might be a little bit biased, but where this girl began to get slightly breathy on the higher notes, Kurt could belt them out without even a hint of a waver. He really was born to be on that stage, and yet even that wasn't big enough for him, not really. Almost immediately upon entering the room he caught sight of Kurt, lounging around next to Tessa on the edge of the stage, legs hanging off it carelessly and looking the picture of casual. He laughed at something his co-star said, his whole face lighting up, and Blaine was once again struck by the honest to God beauty of this man. Tessa spotted him walking down one of the aisles first, nudging Kurt, and suddenly there was a tall, lithe brunette man barrelling down at him, practically tackling him in a hug. Blaine laughed, as did Kurt, as they embraced. Annoyingly though, Blaine's phone chose this moment to start playing 'Don't Rain On My Parade' and Kurt looked at him in shock as he recognised the voice singing it.

"No. Freaking. Way." He breathed, "Is that Rachel Berry calling you?" He asked, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes.

"I think you'll find she's Rachel St. James now," he responded haughtily, pulling the phone from his pocket, "But yeah."

"Can I please answer it?" Kurt grinned and Blaine actually laughed, placing the device in his outstretched hand. Kurt took a moment to compose himself before sliding his finger across the touchscreen and holding it to his ear.

"Hello Mrs St. James," he spoke in a suave voice, lowering his tone so it could probably pass as Blaine's when heard on the other end of the phone. It took everything Blaine had not to burst out laughing when Rachel immediately started rambling on the other end,

"Blainers, what the hell? You tell us you're going to go find Kurt again and then we don't hear from you again! We've been waiting on tenterhooks to hear what happened? Or were you too busy with your sexcapades to damn well pick up the phone and call your best friends? We almost died, Blaine, _died_, then how would you have felt?"

"Whoa Rachel," Kurt was laughing, unable to keep up his pretence of being Blaine any longer due to his inability to keep a straight face, "I see you're dramatic as ever." Rachel was silent, simply listening to the sound of her ex-best friend's laughter.

"Kurt, is that really you?" She whispered almost reverently, and suddenly Jesse's voice was there too, asking why Kurt was answering Blaine's phone.

"Yeah it's me," And as if on cue, Derek's voice was suddenly screaming for Kurt to get his 'impeccably tailored ass on stage now, or he would switch all of the tubes of lotion stashed in his dressing room for mayonnaise'. "And that's my cue. Come down to the theatre, bring Jesse and we'll all go out after the show tonight. Bye Rach." And with that he flung the phone back at Rachel and ran towards the stage, because he really didn't want to end up rubbing mayonnaise onto his face.

"Blaine, you are with him right now? You need to talk to us."

"Like Kurt said, come to the theatre and we'll talk. He's willing to hide us backstage during the performance as well, so we can go straight out from here" Blaine couldn't hide the grin on his face, not taking his eyes off of Kurt, who was helping one of the other people with their choreography.

"We'll be there, see you in ten, and be prepared to talk!" She warned, and he chuckled,

"Of course Rachel, see you soon!" He hung up the phone, before heading down towards the stage.

The only thing Blaine could think as he watched Kurt flitting around, dancing and singing and talking and teaching, was that Kurt owned the stage. It was all so natural to him, so comfortable, and it made Blaine smile in a way he hadn't in years. Maybe one day he'd get his break, he'd maybe sing on a stage, act in a show or movie, but he wasn't sure he'd ever feel quite as confident as Kurt seemed right now. He knew it wasn't entirely honest, that Kurt still had his insecurities, but it was easy to forget that especially when Kurt performed five backwards hand springs across the stage to win a bet with Tessa and the guy who played Kenickie (Jamie? Jordan? Johnny?). He was so caught up in watching the beaming smile on Kurt's beautiful face that he nearly toppled over when Rachel jumped on his back, making Jesse almost bust a gut laughing.

"Hey Blainers!" Rachel squealed, smiling at him in her infectious way. Almost immediately Kurt was upon them, and Rachel wasted no time leaping into his arms instead and holding him tight, murmuring congratulations and greetings and rebukes all in one. He simply held her, one hand stroking her dark hair, the other lifting her slightly off the ground in his desperation to hold her close.

"Rachel," He chuckled, putting her down after a slightly awkward few minutes and wiping his eyes, still smiling, "I hear someone got married and not to my brother." He teased gently, before Jesse stepped forward, a warm smile also on his face.

"Damn right she did! Hey Kurt, it's good to see you man." Blaine, who'd never gotten a good impression of Jesse from Kurt, was surprised when the younger of the two leaned forwards to pull Jesse into a brief hug.

"It's so good to see you too. I've missed the both of you so much." Blaine frowned slightly, since when were Jesse and Kurt close? Rachel seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because she immediately poking Jesse in the ribs and raised an eyebrow, clearly demanding an explanation. He simply looked up at Kurt, who was wearing a slightly incredulous expression.

"You never told her?" He whispered slightly, seeming in awe of something and increasing the intrigue that was making both him and, by the looks of it, Rachel want to burst.

"No, I wanted her to love me because I'm amazing, not because I might have helped her career." He shrugged, and Rachel let out an involuntary squeak in protest at her obviously being ignored.

"Wow dude, that's… that's kind of amazing." He smiled, before Rachel punched him in the arm.

"Tell me now." She demanded, pouting playfully and Kurt just chuckled, ruffling her headband free hair.

"You remember at Nationals in senior year, how you had to convince Carmen Tibideaux to come and hear you sing because you blew your NYADA audition?" He didn't wait for an answer before carrying on, "Well after we'd won, I saw her leaving and wanted to make sure that she'd changed her mind about you, so I followed her out while you guys were still celebrating. By the time I'd reached the foyer, I was just about to call her when someone else stepped in. Mr St. James here made her stop and told her that you were the most talented person he'd ever met, bar none, I believe were the exact words. I confronted him, needing to make sure he didn't have some crazy plan to cook breakfast on your head again," He shot a wink at Jesse, who blushed and looked away, even more embarrassed. "It was clear he was a boy in love, and I couldn't fault him for that, so we started talking, became friends I suppose. He was the only one I kept in contact with after… well, everything, but after about a year we kind of fell out of touch."

"You were in contact with him for a year after we broke up?" Blaine asked, half disbelieving, half incredibly annoyed, and Kurt flinched at his tone before realising the words weren't directed at him. Not that Jesse realised, because Rachel had pulled him into a sweet, although admittedly sickening for two gay guys, public display of affection, murmuring something about not deserving him.

"Oi Kurt," Derek's voice broke into their little storytelling circle, and he sighed heavily, turning to face his director.

"Yeah, man?"

"We're taking a break for a bit; did you want to steal the stage?"

"You mean I don't already?" He touched a hand to his heart, mocking offence. Derek simply rolled his eyes,

"Either you have it now for our break, or you go to hell." He shrugged, and Kurt nodded vigorously. He turned back to his friends, a wicked smile on his face.

"You guys have always wanted to sing on a Broadway stage, right?" It all dawned on them at the same time. No. Freaking. Way.

The four of them stood on stage, three looking out at the theatre in awe, one watching the expressions of his friends. Instead of heading out for their break as the cast usually would, most of them hung around the front row of seats and the wings so they could see how talented Kurt's friends were. Kurt grabbed Tessa, who was standing close by in the wings and pushed her in front of the piano with a pleading look in his eyes. She simply rolled her eyes and asked what song.

"You Can't Stop The Beat" He responded immediately, and Rachel snapped round to face him, a huge smile dawning on her face as she remembered the last time they'd sung this song together in a group. Blaine and Jesse also exchanged smiles, both having watched the film Hairspray enough times to have the choreography committed to memory. It took Tess a few moments to find the sheet music in the folder that always resided in her bag, but as soon as the music started, all four of the performers felt that familiar sense of focussed calm settle over them as they awaited their cue.

"_You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill,"_ Kurt began, shaking his hips slightly in time with the music.

"_You can try to stop the season's girl, but you know you never will!"_ Blaine took the second line, hitting the notes perfectly and falling into a simply dance pattern for the opening.

"_You can try to stop my dancing feet, but I just cannot stand still."_ Jesse and Rachel sang together. Rachel's voice was stronger than Kurt had ever heard it, and melted with Jesse's in such a way it was clear they were meant to be. All four of them fell into step together; choreography unplanned, but even after all this time they were comfortable and talented enough to read what each other person was going to do and react accordingly. The sound of their voices mingling was simply outstanding; Kurt actually thought it easily rivalled the actual cast of the Broadway show, who were being paid for this purpose. They danced and sang their way through the song, laughing and playing and having fun the way they used to do in glee club. Blaine could've sworn he caught a whiff of hair gel, felt the bowtie pulling around his neck as he grabbed Kurt's hands and swung the two of them around.

"_You can't stop the beat!"_ They belted, hands joined and arms raised, finishing to a silent auditorium. Almost immediately Blaine turned to Kurt with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid." Blaine whispered, and Kurt froze. No way, Blaine was not about to do what he thought he was, was he? The smile on his face said otherwise, and Kurt shook his head despairingly, but couldn't fight away the threatening grin.

"No Blaine, please no." He teased, still smiling and Rachel and Jesse looked at eachother in confusion. The rest of the cast had pretty much faded into the furniture by this point, each man completely focussed on the other.

"_You think I'm pretty, without any make-up on,_

_You think I'm funny, when I tell the punchline wrong,_

_I know you get me,_

_So I let my walls come down, down…"_

Kurt couldn't help but laugh as Blaine was obviously transported back into a navy jacket with red piping; Dalton two-step and all. Even without the rest of the Warblers as backing, Blaine sounded amazing, and as he reached the chorus, Kurt couldn't help but join in.

"_Let's go all the way tonight,_

_No regrets, just love._

_We can dance until we die,_

_You and I, we'll be young forever!" _

As much as Kurt loved performing in Grease, and he really did, it couldn't even compare to singing old Katy Perry hits opposite Blaine. This was where he was always meant to be in life, on stage, with Blaine by his side. For the first time, Kurt allowed himself to believe that maybe this could actually work out. Maybe this time, they could win.

They finished with a bang, breathing heavily and wound somehow in each others arms. Blaine's face was so close, and Kurt wanted to do nothing more than kiss him, and from the look on Blaine's face it seemed he was having pretty similar thoughts. They stared at eachother, leaning in slowly before their lips were just inches apart. It was this moment that Derek decided to declare, "Holy hell, Kurt," as he made his way back towards the stage from the perch he'd made on the back of one of the seats with his mouth gaping open. "Was the water _made_ of talent where you grew up?" Blaine and Jesse chuckled nervously, meeting eachother's eyes in slight embarrassment, while Rachel glowed from the praise. Kurt simply smirked back at him.

"They're not bad, I suppose." He shrugged in a false action of nonchalance, but Blaine could see straight through him. He was practically glowing with pride for his friends.

"Not bad? Why did you not introduce them to me before? If you can act as well as you can sing, I feel that this'll be the beginning of a very beautiful friendship." Blaine's heart froze in his chest as he realised what the other man was saying. Rachel looked as though she were about to pass out, and Jesse's jaw was almost dragging along the ground. Kurt however, looked slightly tearful as he stole a quick glance at Blaine, proud smile lighting up his features.

"I can vouch for them all; they are just as talented actors and dancers as they are singers. They deserve this opportunity more than anyone." He smiled softly, and Blaine couldn't help himself anymore. He all but threw himself into Kurt's arms, tilting his head up to kiss him fiercely and not caring who was watching. He felt Kurt's muscles tense slightly, but the other boy held him tight and kissed him back, no matter what was going on in his mind.

Fireworks. That was all that Kurt could think of as Blaine kissed him desperately. They were exploding all around them, as though it was Fourth of July, and nothing else could garner his attention except the lips on his own. He knew people were watching, which made him nervous because he hadn't told most of them that he was gay. Sure, they may have guessed, but he'd never explicitly said it, and he'd toned down his flamboyancy a lot since high school so it was far harder to guess. Long gone were the knee length sweaters and ridiculous boots; in their place were regular polos, shirts and vests and some days even trainers! After what had happened, it was impossible for Kurt to be both himself, and comfortable, so he chose to live comfortably, not denying his lifestyle if asked but not flashing it in peoples' faces either. Well, that was until Blaine kissed him, right on centre stage. He felt the younger man push himself tighter to his chest, clinging to him like a lifeline as they kissed like it was the end of the world. Just as Kurt tilted his head, attempting to deepen the kiss a little more, he heard a loud coughing noise and was reminded of the crowd of people watching them; a thought which was enough to make him pull away, albeit reluctantly. Derek was watching them, arms folded with an eyebrow raised and Kurt blushed slightly, biting his lip and trying not to laugh.

"You about done?" He asked, smirking as both boys squirmed uncomfortably and gave mumbled 'yes's' in answer. "Good, now you three are going to come with me and give me your details, and Kurt, you are going to go and perform a flawless rendition of Summer Nights with everyone else. Comprendé?" Kurt nodded, immediately running to the edge of the stage as everyone else began to file on and take their places. Nobody said anything about the public affection Kurt and Blaine had just displayed, for which Kurt was grateful. In his flustered state, he missed the stern look Rachel shot at Blaine, and the guilty one prompted in return.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine trailed behind the producer, who was chatting animatedly with Jesse and Rachel about musical theatre and NYADA. Apparently he'd done a semester there but decided he preferred the backstage side of things rather than being centre stage, and was good at it as well. It didn't take long though, for the conversation turned to Kurt, and Blaine immediately caught up with them, desperate to hear anything about the boy.

"He looks so comfortable up there." Rachel sighed enviously, watching him jiving playfully with the girl playing Frenchy as they sang and laughed together. It really did look like their rehearsals were closer to social gatherings than actual practice; but after seeing the show twice, Blaine had to concede that they didn't really need much practice.

"Yeah, he was born to be there. It's the only place I've ever seen him smile properly, until a few days ago at least." Derek shot a sly look at Blaine, who blushed slightly, looking towards his feet. "He literally carries this performance single-handedly."

"That's hardly fair, Tessa's amazing as well." Blaine defended her half-heartedly, because he felt it would be proper.

"She is; they all are. They're one of the best casts I've ever worked with, but you can hardly disagree that Kurt is the most talented performer of all of them, not that he'd ever agree. Plus he teaches them choreography, can pinpoint exactly what wasn't right in a scene and is constantly rushing around trying to keep up morale and make everyone else happy. I don't know how he has the energy, but he'll go a long way in this business. He's impossible not to adore." Blaine was amazed by how perfect Kurt still was, despite the time and pain that had obviously changed him. "You'll be good for him."

"Huh?" Blaine snapped to face the producer, caught off guard. Derek on the other hand, had a slightly smug look on his face.

"You'll be good for him. He's never exactly admitted this to any of us, except maybe Tessa, but he's had it rough. I've seen pictures of him as a teenager, and anyone can see he's not the same guy he was then; something happened that changed him a lot and it's made him unhappy for so long. You make him smile Blaine; I don't think you know how rare that is." He was trying desperately to ignore the burning of Rachel's gaze on the side of his face as he processed Derek's words. Kurt was unhappy. Blaine made him smile. He wasn't sure if he was sadder about the former, or more ecstatic about the latter.

"If anyone deserves happiness, it's Kurt." Rachel chimed in; when it became clear Blaine wasn't ready to respond yet. "Seeing him sad… it's like…" She trailed off, unable to find the right sentiment.

"It's like seeing an angel cry." He murmured, "I don't know if I can make him happy, or if he can make me so, but I can't live without him anymore. It's too hard." He wasn't sure if he was admitting this to himself, or to the others. Either way, Derek responded.

"Make sure he knows that." Derek caught Blaine's eye and the younger man found he couldn't look away.

"I can't, not yet." Blaine wasn't ready for a relationship with Kurt again. Not yet. He wanted Kurt, he loved Kurt, he couldn't live without Kurt, but he hadn't forgiven Kurt. The past five years had been painful and lonely and had forced him to become someone he didn't want to be. Until he could get over that, and the anger that such memories and thoughts brought on, he couldn't be with Kurt, however much he wanted it.

"You love him, right?" Derek's voice was harsh.

"I-I…I don't…can't… Yes," He sighed, looking down again pitifully. "I sometimes wish I didn't, but I do, so much."

"Then tell him, make him happy, give him what he deserves."

"I can't be with him yet; I can't forgive him. I'm still hurting."

"Then don't you dare go singing flirty songs and kissing him and making him laugh and smile. Don't you dare raise his hopes just to shatter his heart. He's only a shell now Blaine, he pretends really well, but I've seen some of his scars and I don't think he can survive being hurt by you again. If you don't want to be with him, then don't even think about leading him on. Love him or don't, just figure it out before you hurt him beyond repair."

"You have no right to talk to me like that," Blaine fumed, "you know nothing about our past…"

"But I do, Blaine." Jesse said quietly, distracting the men who were squared up to eachother without realising. "I know the whole rotten tale, and I agree with him. I know how much it hurt you when he left, but he's not gone now, and you love him. If you can't forgive him, don't make him think you already have."

"I may not know Kurt as well as you all do, but I've watched him closely. He can't handle any more heartbreak Blaine, he can't; so don't you make him." Derek fixed Blaine with a frosty glare and Blaine understood. Derek loved Kurt, not the same way Blaine did, but enough that he couldn't let someone hurt him. If it wasn't aimed towards him, Blaine would have been grateful for the producer's protectiveness towards his boyfriend…ex-boyfriend.

"I need to talk to him." Blaine sighed heavily, turning away from the three of them to hide the fact that his eyes were tearing up.

"Hummel, you've done enough today. Head home and rest up before the show." Derek boomed across the auditorium, making Kurt leap to his feet, aim a military style salute in his friend's direction and amble off stage. "Go after him fool, and don't let him come in tonight if you haven't hashed it out by then. He's owed about a night off anyway; not that he'd take it voluntarily." Blaine didn't need to hear it twice. He shot off after the taller boy without even saying goodbye to Rachel and Jesse.

"Don't worry man, Blaine's a good guy. He'll get it right." Jesse patted Derek on the shoulder, and was surprised when the dark haired man sagged back into his hold. "They're meant to be, and Kurt had a good reason for hurting Blaine before. They'll sort it out."

"I just hope Kurt's alright. It's physically painful to see him sad and not be able to help."

"I know," Rachel smiled sadly, "We know."

"Kurt?"

"Blaine? What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk." He said bluntly, fixing the lighter haired man with a solemn look. Kurt sighed, knowing it had been coming; for all the talking they'd done in the past couple of days, they'd avoided any serious topics; such as his leaving.

"Come in then." He pushed open the door to his dressing room, letting Blaine in first, before locking the door behind them.

"So, you kissed me." Kurt began when it became clear Blaine wouldn't. They'd been sitting staring at eachother for the better part of five minutes before the tension got to Kurt and he broke it. Better to just get it over with and let Blaine hate him. "Was it just the song?"

"I… I don't know." Blaine dropped his face into his hands, groaning loudly. "God, this is going to be brutal, isn't it?"

"Of course it is. Look, let's just get this clear before we begin; this won't help at all if we aren't brutally honest. Don't sugarcoat anything, just lay it out, and we'll see what's left after that. Okay?" Blaine nodded again, but didn't say anything. "So, was it just the song?"

"No," Blaine whispered as he shook his head, "But it wasn't me saying everything's alright either. I probably shouldn't have done it."

"No, you shouldn't." Blaine was shocked to hear those words come from Kurt's mouth. Blaine was the one who had reason to be angry, Kurt should be grovelling for forgiveness.

"What?" He demanded, but Kurt let out a strained laugh, confusing him into dropping the anger.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that I'm pretty sure you just outed me to at least half the cast." Kurt wasn't surprised by the dropping open of Blaine's jaw; he'd always been very clear about his sexuality when Blaine knew him so the fact that he wasn't so much now, in a much more accepting city while pursuing a career with high homosexuality rates, was probably a major shock to the system. It wasn't that Kurt wasn't proud of who he was, or confident of his identity, but he was afraid that if people knew he was gay, history would repeat itself.

"They don't know you're gay?" Blaine actually sounded angry, "What happened to the Kurt who told me off for experimenting with kissing a girl when drunk? The one who told me I was tiptoeing back into the closet? The one who admired me for being comfortable with myself? How are you now hiding such an important part of you?"

"Because it doesn't matter now; it's not like anyone interests me enough to pursue and I don't want my sexuality to get in the way of my friendships or my career."

"You know you're talking to the one person who can see straight through your lies, right Kurt?" Blaine raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by Kurt's dishonesty so soon after emphasising the importance of telling the whole truth. "Do you even want to sort this out?" Kurt ignored that comment.

"Look, can we move on? I'll come back to this and explain properly, but if I tell you the truth now, you won't understand."

"Try me." Blaine ordered stubbornly, challenging Kurt with him eyes.

"Trust me."

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, there's nothing to work out." Kurt would've been smug at Blaine's silence if it hadn't been for such an important reason. "Thankyou."

"Just tell me why Kurt?" Blaine demanded, and Kurt opened his mouth to attempt to do so. Therefore it came as a shock to both boys when the next words from Kurt's lips weren't even an attempt at an explanation.

"I can't." He was afraid. There was no other way to put it. He wanted to tell Blaine everything but sudden fear froze the words in his throat. He wanted Blaine to know that if Kurt had had a choice, he would never have left that bed. He would have remained by Blaine's side for the rest of eternity if he could have done. But he didn't have a choice, and he couldn't have stayed. So now he was condemned to keep in the truth, for fear of the wrong person finding out, and hurting the one person who was more important than everyone else. "I wish I could, and I swear to you that I had a legitimate reason for leaving, it wasn't my choice, but I can't tell you why."

"Are you freaking serious right now Kurt?" Blaine was angry. He had a right to be, Kurt knew this. "You expect me just to forgive you for walking out on me, after promising me we'd be together forever and harping on and on about our future in New York with kids and a cat and a white picket fence, without even explaining why you did it. I know you think I'm too nice for my own good, but even I can't be that magnanimous Kurt."

"I don't expect forgiveness. I wouldn't ever ask for it, just know that I love you and I always have. I really did want the kids and the cat and the fence. I wanted it all, with you and only you."

"We can still have all of that Kurt," Blaine was surprised by the begging tone of his voice; "we can work through this. You just need to explain. Brutal honesty, remember?"

"I wish I could Blaine, I really do. I wish I had a choice."

"Damn it Kurt, everything's a choice. Every single freaking thing is a choice, and you're choosing not to tell me." The anger was back. Kurt was crying by now, and Blaine was halfway there too, gripping his hands into his curls to prevent him doing anything stupid like punching a wall.

"Then I choose not to tell you. If it's a decision between you not knowing and hating me, or you getting hurt, then I choose the first one every time." Kurt answered defiantly, tilting his chin into the air defiantly.

"Don't you get it; you hurt me more than anyone ever could Kurt? You just left, and by not telling me now, you're just hurting me more."

"Please Blaine," apparently his words had broken through Kurt's barrier; if there was anything he couldn't deal with it was Blaine being in pain. Knowing he was causing that pain was a thousand times worse.

"Tell me, Kurt. Santana said she thought you'd been threatened by someone; that they'd told you to leave me, or they'd hurt me. Was she right, Kurt?" The dark haired boy was almost frantic now, desperate to know that Kurt wasn't giving up on them over some stupid explanation.

"Santana's always been too smart for her own good, or mine." He muttered sadly, and Blaine was surprised by the aged tone of his voice.

"Was she right?" He demanded, staring deeply into Kurt's eyes, trying to pry and answer from the glassy depths when Kurt's lips didn't move.

"Blaine please, I love you, can't you just take me for what I am?" Blaine wished he could say yes, he really did. But he'd never be able to forgive Kurt if he didn't know what he was forgiving; and he'd never be able to believe he wouldn't just up and leave again. It wasn't fair to either of them if he agreed now.

"I wish I could." Blaine made to stand up, but Kurt grabbed his hands desperately in his own. He couldn't just let Blaine walk out of his life, but he was too afraid to let him in. This wasn't fair; why couldn't he just be happy? Didn't he deserve to be happy? Was he really such an awful person that he was doomed to be miserable forever? The broken, distraught expression on Blaine's face made him believe that yes, perhaps he was.

"_Take me for what I am,  
Who I was meant to be, _

_And if you give a damn,  
Take me baby, or leave me._

_Take me baby or leave me._

Please Blaine, please give me another chance. I'm sorry I can't explain, but please, please don't leave me. I need you." Kurt was aware he was being unfair, and by the sudden anger that flashed through Blaine's eyes, it was clear that he knew it too. He couldn't believe how selfish Kurt was being, refusing to tell him anything, then begging for him back.

"I'll ask one more time, will you explain?" It took a few agonising moments, but eventually Kurt shook his head, eyes downcast.

"_That's it, the straw that breaks my back._

_I quit, unless you take it back._

_Men, what is it about them?_

_Can't live-_

_-With them or without them!"_ Kurt joined in now, knowing it was very possibly the last time he would ever sing with Blaine, and determined to make the most of such an opportunity, despite the tears coursing down both their faces.

"_Take me for what I am!_

_Who I was meant to be!_

_And if you give a damn,_

_Take me baby, or leave me._

_Take me baby or leave me." _Blaine was on his feet, looking down at Kurt's pleading expression and knowing if he didn't leave now, he never would. Without breaking eye contact, he backed away towards the door, flicking the lock as he whispered the final two lines.

"_Guess I'm leaving, I'm gone._

And the door clicked with a sense of finality behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

It took Blaine less than ten seconds to realise what he'd just done. Had he really just broken up with Kurt? Not that they were together in the first place actually break up, but the pain in his chest suggested that this was no more than an insignificant detail. This was Kurt. The same Kurt he'd spent the past five years pining over; the same Kurt who made him feel things he'd never felt before. This was the boy he loved with all his heart; and always would for as long as he would live. So what was he doing standing outside the door, hearing the other boy's reckless sobs through the wood of the door? Blaine knew he wanted answers, he _deserved_ them, but did the lack of said reasons mean that he would be happier without Kurt in his life? His head hurt as he slumped backwards against the wall, tears running freely down his cheeks. Why couldn't life just be simple? Here he was, a man trapped in a relationship he wasn't committed to, leading on a man he didn't love, and trying to leave the only man he did. Was it really too much to ask that he just be happy; just this once, couldn't things just work out? Another sob permeated the door, rocking Blaine violently out of his thoughts. That was Kurt in that room, and he was crying. Of course Blaine wouldn't actually leave him, he couldn't. With that conclusion he turned on his heel and threw the door open, immediately rushing over to take Kurt in his arms. The lighter haired boy was curled up on the floor, forehead rested on knees which where pulled tightly to his chest as he rocked back and forth, unable to stop weeping

"Shh," He whispered, running a hand through Kurt's soft hair, "Shh love, everything's going to be okay." Kurt shifted, wrapping his own arms around Blaine's figure and the shorter boy's heart almost broke as he felt how hard he was shaking.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I'm so so sorry." Kurt whimpered pathetically.

"It's okay love, we'll be okay." He continued soothingly. It wasn't the past that mattered now, but the present. This moment was all that mattered anymore, and this moment was all he would think about for the moment. Tomorrow could come when tomorrow came, but today, today was about Kurt.

"I don't know what happened." Kurt hissed quietly down the phone, eyes flitting over to the door once again as though expecting someone to walk through it, even though he could still hear Blaine in the bathroom. It had been two days since Blaine and Kurt's big fight, and Kurt was currently in Blaine's apartment on the phone to Tessa (it was Blaine's phone, Kurt's was out of battery), since she'd not been at the previous night's show, and therefore hadn't been able to find out all the gossip. "I wanted to tell him, I was going to tell him, but then I remembered what Karofsky said, and I couldn't do it. I know David's living somewhere in New York; what if I told Blaine and we got back together and then he saw Blaine and I together and decided to follow through with his threat? It'd be my fault that Blaine got hurt."

"Kurt, honey, Blaine's there now, isn't he?" Tessa's voice was soothing, but almost patronising, which made Kurt immediately turn to his defence mechanism of sarcasm.

"No, I'm whispering because I'm playing hide and seek with the King of Zimbabwe." He rolled his eyes, "of course he's here now."

"And you kissed him again, after he followed you out?" She ignored his surly attitude, powering on through her point. After Blaine and Kurt had cried themselves out they'd talked a little more. Not about the past; that had been touched on enough for one night, but about anything else. And Kurt had unexpectedly professed his love for Blaine once again. So of course they'd kissed.

"You know I did."

"Then it sounds like you guys are pretty much together anyway. Either you tell him, and risk Karofsky finding out that you're together but he finds a way to forgive you for the past so you can have a future, or you don't tell him but try and pretend everything's okay, still running the risk of Karofsky finding out, but also risking him never fully forgiving or trusting you again. Take whichever pick you want, but I know which I'd prefer."

"I hate you."

"Just because I'm right," He could practically hear her smug grin through the phone. "Seriously though Kurt, he has a right to know. And chances are Karofsky has grown up by now; he won't do anything, even if he does find out."

"That's a big risk to take though Tess, I mean; you never saw his face when he said it. I've never seen someone express so much…loathing. I know I need to tell Blaine at some point, just every time I try to get the words out I freeze. I'm scared; he went through so much before for being gay, I couldn't be responsible for him getting hurt again." A beep indicated another phone call; Santana was supposed to be calling to organise the three of them going out Saturday night. Kurt quickly said his goodbyes to Tessa, promising that he would at least consider telling Blaine the truth; after all, it was a major source of tension between the two men, who would otherwise be almost entirely content it appeared.

Blaine hung back outside the kitchen door, hearing Kurt talking in a hushed voice. He knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping, and he hadn't intended to but then Kurt had mentioned something about Karofsky and all his senses had been flipped onto high alert. What threat was Kurt talking about? And why did it matter that Karofsky was living in New York? Could Santana have been right about Kurt having been forced to leave him? Blaine's head was beginning to hurt, before he heard Kurt making his goodbyes, and he knew he had to make himself scarce if he didn't want to be caught. Without another thought (they were too stressful) Blaine made his way into the bedroom, collapsing back onto the bed as he considered the past few days. After their argument Blaine and Kurt had silently agreed not to bring up the break up again but it was obviously still there, lurking between them like a predator in the night and causing each of them to be slightly on edge. Other than that though, there was no problem for them. Except Eli. Eli was without a doubt a problem, because he'd said those three words to Blaine, and believed Blaine to be well on his way to saying them back, which he was not. It also felt wrong keeping Eli from Kurt, but Blaine could find no legitimate way to bring him into conversation, and what if Kurt didn't understand. Blaine wasn't sure why he couldn't just break up with Eli and take him out of the equation altogether, but he couldn't, and that was problematic. Footsteps began making their way up the hallway and Blaine smiled slightly; he could get used to hearing Kurt's movements around his apartment.

Without looking at the caller ID, Kurt listened to the voicemail, expecting Santana berating them for not answering the phone to her. Instead he was shocked to hear a male voice, definitely not Santana's, apparently belonging to a man named Eli if Blaine's contact list was anything to go by.

"_Hey baby, I'm just calling to check we're still on for tonight? I know you're busy until seven, but I was thinking I could come to yours and cook for you after that. I love you babe, see you soon."_

What. The. Actual. Heck?

"Blaine?" Kurt asked in a distant tone which made Blaine sit up from where he was relaxing back on the bed. In his hand was Blaine's phone, and in his eyes an icy look of hurt and anger that made Blaine's heart skip a beat in fear. "Blaine, who's Eli?" The shorter boy froze at the name of his boyfriend coming from the lips of the boy he loved. The only thought that crossed his mind was 'Kurt was never meant to find out'. He was stupid, so stupid! Oh God, what had he just done? Of course he would break up with Eli, how could he ever consider not? Kurt was everything, and perhaps by not seeing this earlier, he was about to lose his World. He couldn't lose Kurt Hummel, not again. Blaine's mental breakdown was halted by Kurt's repeating the question, unable to keep his voice from cracking which left no doubt in his mind that Kurt knew exactly who Eli was. Blaine got to his feet, extending a hand desperately out to Kurt in an attempt at Lord only knows what; apology? Desperation? Resignation?

"You know who he is Kurt." Blaine sighed in defeat, unable to look the other boy in the eye. Kurt's grip tightened on the phone, his knuckles turning white as he took a step backward away from the advancing boy.

"I need to hear you say it, out loud." When Blaine didn't respond, Kurt raised his voice. "Damn it Blaine, admit it!"

"Eli Strauss is my… he's my…" Blaine choked over the word. "Kurt please?" He begged, unable to get the word past the lump in his throat, once again reaching out in an attempt that Kurt would forgive him, that he wouldn't make him admit to being the pathetic lowlife he so obviously was.

"Blaine Anderson," Kurt's voice was quiet, almost menacing, "Look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Eli Strauss," The disgust in Kurt's voice was almost palpable "is your boyfriend." It wasn't even a question, and perhaps that was why Blaine did indeed look directly into Kurt's teary eyes and repeat the words, in a voice as soft as a feather.

"Yes, Eli Strauss is my boyfriend." There was a moment of silence, before Kurt let out an involuntary whimper as he slumped back against the door as though his knees had given out, averting his eyes to look up at the ceiling and biting down on his lips. Blaine knew, even after all this time, that this meant Kurt was fighting back tears, and at that moment the guilt was almost overwhelming. Blaine was a horrible person. He was the worst person on the planet, in fact, he was ten times worse than the worst person on the planet because he was the one who put that broken expression in Kurt's beautiful eyes.

"Boyfriend…?" Kurt whispered disbelievingly "How could you do this to me Blaine?"

"How could I do this to you?" Blaine found himself responding without really knowing what he was about to say He suddenly realised that it wasn't fair for Kurt to be angry at him for having a boyfriend, he was allowed to move on. Kurt had left, five years before, and Blaine was entitled to a life without him. He berated himself inwardly for allowing himself to be so foolish as to blame himself, to feel so sickeningly guilty about this. Kurt saw this defiance in his eyes and heard it in his words, because his expression turned from tortured to almost incredulous, his back straightened rigidly with the sudden onset of tension in his shoulders. "You left me Kurt, cut yourself completely out of my life and left me damaged, broken. How dare you accuse me of being in the wrong, simply because I tried to move on, because I tried to be happy? You're being totally unfair, and you know it."

"I know no such thing." Kurt knew his words were a lie, that Blaine's hit him in such a way that they could only be true, but he couldn't quite bring himself to accept that. Sure, he left Blaine and always thought he'd want him to be happy and move on, but by not telling him that he had a boyfriend, Blaine had demoted him to nothing more than a sleazy affair. And that, more than anything, was what made Kurt angry. "I wanted you to be happy Blaine; I always wanted you to be happy. But I am not going to be your bit on the side. Obviously you're over me, so just get out, you don't need me any more and I am not going to wait around to be hurt by you again."

"Hurt by me again?" Blaine snapped disbelievingly "How dare you? Can I just remind you that you are the one who left? You didn't even say goodbye, Kurt. You just… You just upped and left without even so much as a note! How could I not be angry? How could I not be heartbroken? How could you not say goodbye?" Blaine's eyes were tearing up, his shoulders slumping slightly as he deflated, anger draining from him gradually. Kurt took a step forwards. It was strange how things had turned around in only minutes. Blaine was now the one backing off, Kurt the one reaching out to grasp at something neither of them was sure of.

"Don't you remember Blaine?" The icy tone was gone now, replaced with something more akin to surprise, maybe disbelief. Kurt's eyes were wide with surprise, glistening with tears, and all too beautiful for Blaine to look into without giving up on the anger that just moments ago seemed to fill his entire body.

"Remember what?" Blaine was getting annoyed again at the lack of answers and averted his eyes, looking down to where Kurt's hands twisted awkwardly together, showing his unease. He did however allow Kurt to step closer to him; just enough that the smell of his cologne hit him like a blow to the chest.

"I couldn't bear to break my promise to you, Blaine." Kurt whispered, a single tear finally breaking free of the prison of his eyes. Blaine's hand twitched, itching to brush it away as he had before, but he controlled the urge, leaving it to run unchecked down Kurt's elegant cheekbone.

"What promise?" Blaine shouted, trying to ignore the way Kurt flinched. **I'd never hurt you Kurt, surely you know that? **

"That day on the steps outside McKinley," A vague memory forced its way into the forefront of Blaine's mind; a snatch of a song. "I told you I was never saying goodbye to you. I couldn't break that promise; I already knew I was breaking your heart, I wanted... no, I needed to leave at least that intact. I'm sorry Blaine, more sorry than I'll ever be able to say, but I would **never** break a promise to you. And I promise now that I love you. I always have, and I always will, forever. I've never moved on and I never want to. You're the only one I'll ever want and even if you don't want me anymore, even if you hate me, I'll carry on loving you until the day I die. So please, Blaine, can you at least forgive me that, if nothing else?" Blaine's anger drained as soon as Kurt started speaking, an overwhelming sense of love, devotion, pain and longing welling up inside his chest, threatening to break out along with the tears filling his eyes. "I love you Blaine, I've always loved you." Kurt sniffed, wiping the streams of tears away from his face impatiently as he watched Blaine's face.

"You… you never moved on? You mean you've never…" Blaine trailed off, but Kurt smiled wryly knowing what he was saying. Kurt reached out once more, finally finding something worth grasping onto in Blaine's hand. Kurt knew that Blaine was only referring to boyfriends, but Kurt hadn't even been on a date since the break up, he hadn't so much kissed another guy, let alone gone any further. He really had never moved on in any sense of the term. Together, they made to sit on the bed, a respectful distance apart, but both could feel the heat of the other radiating across the gap.

"No-one could live up to you Blaine and I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment." Blaine's heart melted completely in Kurt's familiar hands and he leant forwards to embrace the other boy, his best friend.

"God I love you Kurt. I've wished I didn't so many times these past five years, but I really do, and I always have." Blaine's face tilted up, his lips just inches from Kurt's own and the taller boy couldn't take his eyes off them. The smell of Blaine was intoxicating and enticing and all too difficult for Kurt to resist. But he had to. As Blaine made to lean in, Kurt placed his hands firmly on his chest to push him away, making him fall roughly back against the covers. Blaine frowned up at him questioningly and Kurt just shook his head.

"I want this, I want you, so much I really can't believe I'm saying this." Kurt looked up at the ceiling, as though praying for the strength to move, which Blaine knew was ridiculous since Kurt was in no way religious. "I need to leave." Blaine made to cut him off but Kurt pressed a finger to his lips. Heavens, they were so soft and perfect, how Kurt wanted to kiss them! The wave of desire swept through him like a tidal wave, and he couldn't help the way his next words came out husky with obvious lust. "I'm not leaving forever if you don't want me too, but I will not be your bit on the side, you're mistress," Kurt rolled his eyes at the flash of amusement, so easy to recognise, that sparked in Blaine's eyes, muttering something alone the lines of 'you know what I mean'. "I don't want to lose you Blaine, and I would wait for you forever, but I will not be with you until you break up with Eli. I want us to do this properly." He assured the other boy, trying to make him understand.

"I want us to do this right as well. I think you should go…" And though he was kind of expecting such a response, Kurt couldn't help the look of pain that flashed momentarily across his face, making Blaine shake his head profusely. "Not like that. I choose you Kurt, I'd always choose you, but as said, I want to do this properly. But I also really want to kiss you. And if you stay here any longer I know I'll do something we'll both regret later. So go for now, but come back tonight. Ten O' Clock, and we can do this right." Kurt smiled slightly in response to the grin that had taken over Blaine's perfect lips. He jumped up, once again feeling that desperate desire to pin this boy down and kiss him senseless.

"I'll be back at ten. I love you Blaine." He made his way over to the door and flinging it open, shooting a tender smile back over at the other boy who was shooing him away, a similar expression on his own face.

"I'm not going to say it until I am a free man. Now go, before I can't help myself anymore" Kurt recognised the lust that darkened Blaine's eyes as they scanned his whole body, lingering on the tight seat of Kurt's skinny jeans. With a final moment of eye contact, Kurt was gone, closing the door behind him. Blaine let out a sigh of relief, flopping backwards onto the bed and tangling his fingers in the messy curls there. He remained like that for a few minutes, an inane grin on his face as he went over the past ten minutes in his head. Then there was a knock at the door and he scrambled up, racing to answer it. As soon as it swung open, there were hands grasping his face, lips on his own, an expert tongue that felt oh-so-familiar probing deeply into his mouth. He was too surprised even to kiss back, instead just settled for gripping the front of Kurt's jacket desperately. All too soon the taller boy pulled away with a lack of breath and an apologetic gleam in his eyes.

"Sorry," he panted, "but I couldn't help myself." And with a wink he turned and walked away down the corridor.

"Hey Kurt," Blaine recovered just as the boy reached the top of the stairs, "for the record, you were never the bit on the side!" Kurt winked at him, the expression so sexy that it left Blaine slumped against the doorframe, panting heavily and staring at the now empty hallway that the hottest man on earth had just walked down while he tried to regain some of the blood from his brain that had immediately fled south. Oh Kurt, he thought, how do you do this to me? Blaine remained leaning on the doorframe for a few moments, not noticing the bunch of flowers dumped haphazardly on the floor down the other end of the corridor.

Blaine looked at the clock. 9.25, Eli was meant to be there almost and hour and a half before, and Eli was never late for anything. Hard though he may try though, he couldn't conjure up more than casual worry for the man who was supposedly his boyfriend. Sure he was worried he might be hurt or something, but it wasn't crippling fear the way he'd felt earlier when he thought Kurt was about to leave. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Blaine leaped to his feet, racing over and flinging it open to reveal a dishevelled looking Eli Strauss. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair messy and slightly dirty looking, while there was a stain on the white dress shirt he wore and a tear in the knee of the black slacks. Suddenly the blonde took a couple of staggering steps towards him, and Blaine almost gagged on the stench of alcohol that followed the other man in.

"Whoa there," He caught Eli before he could hit the floor. What had happened to make tee-total Eli get completely wrecked? A twist in his gut told him he knew exactly what had happened, but he tried to push that suspicion away. Eli couldn't know about Kurt, could he?

"Don't touch me." Eli snapped, slurring the words slightly, but not enough that they were incomprehensible. "If he's not your bit on the side, then what is he? What am I?!" Okay, maybe Eli did know about Kurt then.

"Sit down, let me get you some water and I'll explain."

"Damn it Blaine, I don't need water. I need to tell me why the heck some little pixie boy thinks he can come and snog your face off, then be told he was never the spare part? I'm supposed to be your boyfriend Blaine, so screw the water, and tell me exactly what the bloody hell I saw back there." Eli demanded, making Blaine sigh heavily. This wasn't how he'd wanted his confession to go.

"You're drunk, Eli, you're not in the right frame of mind to do this." Blaine insisted, still trying to drag his boyfriend to the sofa, where he could sit down. Instead he found himself being pressed violently up against the wall, head smarting painfully where the two collided. Eli had a hold of his lapels, and his toes just barely reached the floor as he struggled for breath.

"How long have you been sleeping with him for? How long have you been with that faggot?" Eli hissed, his breath touching Blaine's face and making the smaller man recoil. Anger welled inside of him, along with the hurt at the derogatory term.

"How dare you call him a faggot? He's no different to you or I, does that make us fags too?" Blaine demanded, meeting Eli's eyes harshly. "And for your information I've not been sleeping with him."

"Then what was that I saw earlier. He came out of your bedroom, then back and snogged your face off. Are you really so much of a whore?"

"Let me down Eli, let me down and we'll talk about this." Suddenly there was a crack and Blaine was sent sprawling across the floor, clutching his cheek tightly.

"Screw you."

"Get out." Blaine demanded, trying to stop the tears from escaping. "Get the hell out of my apartment."

"Not until you tell me the truth, how long have you been sleeping with that fairy?" Eli was completely fuming, his face was red and he'd lost all sense of reason. For the first time since meeting him the year previously, Blaine was terrified of the other man.

"I think he said get out." A quiet but steely voice came from the doorway and Blaine's head snapped around to take in Kurt, standing there with arms folded and a poisonous look on his face, directed straight at Eli.

"You…" Eli hissed, making a beeline for Kurt, who stood his ground. "What gives you the right to turn up here?"

"I'm here to make sure my _friend _is okay. Looks like I arrived just in time, you asshole." Kurt spat, not even flinching as Eli, who had at least three inches and thirty pounds on him, squared right up to him. "I believe the man told you to leave, so will you leave, or do I have to get you arrested for assault?" The blonde was furious, breathing heavily like a bull at the rodeo, but after thirty seconds of intense eye contact with Kurt, who remained still as a statue with a look upon his face that actually made him look terrifying; the taller man went galumphing heavily from the room. Kurt took in a deep breath, closing his eyes, before turning to tend to Blaine, whose nose was now bleeding.

"Well, that went well." He laughed breathlessly, trying to ignore the way the blood trickled slightly down the back of his throat.

"Mmm," Kurt shrugged not looking away from the bleeding mess that was apparently his nose. As Blaine was about to say something else, Kurt sighed heavily and pulled his white tee off over his head, stunning Blaine into silence. Kurt had always had a beautiful body, leanly muscled and veering more towards too skinny than puppy fat, but now he'd obviously been working out. His skin was still like porcelain, unblemished and pale, but now it stretched tight over well-defined abs and the muscles in his arms rippled with his small, fluid movements. Blaine stared at him unabashedly; this beautiful man loved him? Plain old Blaine Anderson with his mop of curly hair and vertically challenged stature. "Nice boyfriend you've got." Kurt commented, holding the white tee to his nose and forcibly tipping his head forward. It was clear that he was trying to keep the disgusted judgement out of his tone, but Blaine knew him too well, had he been able to see his face, Blaine was convinced Kurt's nose would be wrinkled in the most adorable manner.

"You caught him at his worst, but he's my ex now anyway." Blaine smiled as he realised; he was a free man now, which meant there was nothing stopping him from full-heartedly pursuing Kurt. It was this sudden realisation that made him know exactly what he wanted from his life; maybe he would never become famous, never get his music out there, but as long as he had Kurt by his side, he would never be unhappy with such a conclusion. There was no question as to whether he would forgive Kurt, such a feat had already occurred a very long time ago. It was stupid to put off trying a relationship with Kurt; the beautiful, pale-skinned, chestnut haired, statuesque man was all he'd ever want in life; and as long as he had that, he could never want for anything.

"I like the sound of that." Kurt was smiling; Blaine could hear it in his tone.

"Kurt," Blaine sucked in a deep breath, suddenly glad that he couldn't meet the stunning eyes. "Can you forgive me for kissing you while I was already in a relationship?"

"That depends." Kurt paused for a few seconds, and Blaine's heart dropped to his shoes. "Can you forgive me for breaking your heart five years ago?" That wasn't what Blaine had been expecting, but he hurried to answer the question anyway.

"I already forgave you, a very long time ago, now I just love you." And wasn't that the truth?

"I love you too. And there's nothing for me to forgive; I shouldn't have assumed you'd be single, just because I was." Kurt smiled; pulling Blaine closer to him, rather awkwardly considering Blaine still had a t-shirt clamped to his face.

"I shouldn't have done it anyway. I knew I was going to have to give Eli up, and it's not like I loved him…." Blaine trailed off,

"But sometimes it's nice having someone around who adores you for everything you do and are." Kurt understood; and that was why he couldn't even be angry with Blaine, not really. Blaine was just living his life, while Kurt had done everything he could to move forward while keeping his heart back in high school. "You cared about him too; maybe it wasn't love, but if I hadn't been in the picture, it probably could have been." Kurt shrugged, trying to pull of nonchalance despite the stab it sent through his heart to think such a thing. Blaine however was furiously shaking his head;

"It may have gone further than any other guy I've been with since you; but I'll never love anyone else the same way I love you. I love you the way Heathcliffe loved Cathy, Rochester loved Jane. It's all consuming and brilliant and hurts but in the very best way. I can't ever love anyone that much again, and it wouldn't be fair to them to pretend to try. Maybe I would've loved Eli eventually, but you are, and forever will be, the only guy I'll ever be _in_ love with. I mean it Kurt," He lifted his head to catch the tear-filled eyes of his love, "You're my everything. I can't live without you, I _won't_ do it anymore. Please don't make me."

"I couldn't make you even if I wanted to; especially when you pull that face." Kurt breathed, reaching to touch his hands to Blaine's face, smoothing out the 'kicked puppy' look that had instinctively taken residence upon his face. "I love you Blaine, there's never been anyone since you. And I mean _anyone_." He stressed, trying to make Blaine understand that he'd been unable to ever let any other guy so much as touch him. Understanding dawned on Blaine's face, and Kurt knew he'd got it.

"You mean you went five years without sex?!" The incredulity in his voice made Kurt laugh uproariously, if only to remove the awkwardness.

"You're the only guy who's ever so much as kissed me, well, other than Karofsky, but that Neanderthal does _not_ count." Kurt's whole face twisted into something dark and formidable, and Blaine was reminded of the phone conversation he'd overheard earlier. Now was as good a time as any to clear the air, and finally get an explanation out of Kurt. The latter boy saw this sudden change in resolution and found himself floundering with the knowledge that if he wanted to keep Blaine, he needed to be honest.

"We need to talk about this." They both sighed reluctantly after a few moments of heavy silence.


	6. Chapter 6

"So…" Blaine prompted. They'd moved so they were sitting on the sofa; Blaine's nose had stopped bleeding and there were two mugs of coffee on the table beside them. Blaine was sitting cross legged on the chair, facing Kurt who had his hands gripped into his hair; elbows rested on knees as he stared intently at the floor. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation for either of them, but it looked like Kurt was already tearing himself apart about it, which was beginning to worry Blaine.

"Before I start to explain," Kurt almost whispered, making Blaine lean forwards slightly to ensure he heard every word. "I need you to know that this is still hard to talk about. I want to be honest, and tell you everything, but it still scares the living hell out of me, and I might not be able to articulate myself very well."

"It's fine, just please, let me in."

"Okay, well it was the night of the fourth of December…"

_Kurt's phone lit up the room, chirping cheerily to indicate a text without any consideration for the sickeningly early time being displayed on the alarm clock. Blearily Kurt reached over to grab it, taking care not to wake Blaine, who was sleeping peacefully next to him, thumb tucked neatly between two perfect lips. Kurt smiled at how adorably young his boyfriend looked while he slept, all tension and stress removed from his face, leaving simply the handsome face of a boy on the brink of manhood. Despite their youth, and the distance Kurt had recently put between them by moving to New York, attending NYCDA (he was back home on Christmas break at the moment), Kurt was certain that Blaine was it for him; the one. After Blaine (and he hoped to God there would be no after Blaine) there would be no-one else for him. Next year the younger boy would move into his New York apartment, and they'd be together. Then after a little while of living together, Kurt would propose (it'd have to be him, because everyone else would expect Blaine to be the one to pop the question) and they'd be together. Then they'd live out the rest of their lives as Broadway and film and music stars, and they'd be together. _

_Kurt's phone chirped again and he unlocked the screen to see two messages from an unknown number. _

_**Hey Kurt, it's David Karofsky. I know you hate me, but I need help and I don't know who else to turn to. No-one else knows my secret. Please meet me at the bridge now; if you don't come, I guess you'll never see me again. **_

_**Please come. I really need help. **_

_Kurt was out of bed in an instant, looking down at Blaine and wondering what to do. It only took about ten minutes to drive to the bridge overlooking the railway; he figured he'd be back before his boyfriend woke, so without another thought he practically ran out of the room, and down to his car. _

_When he arrived at the bridge he couldn't see anyone, despite the moon that had climbed into the centre of the sky, bathing everything in a silvery light. _

"_David." He called out softly, not wanting to startle the other boy into doing anything rash. A movement off to his left caught his attention and he spun around, only to be met by something hard and blunt crashing into his face and sending him sprawling backwards onto the floor. The metallic taste of blood seeped into his mouth as he cursed himself for being an utter fool. Of course Karofsky hadn't changed; he was a fool for thinking it even possible. And now no-one knew where he was, and he'd disappeared to a remote location in the middle of the night without leaving even a note. Can you spell the word imbecile? _

"_Hummel." Karofsky hissed, voice penetrating the darkness of the night, and the bubble of pain that enveloped Kurt's head. "Glad you could make it princess." _

"_What do you want Karofsky?" He retorted slurring slightly, pulling together all the sass he could manage as he tried to push himself up, at least into a sitting position. _

"_You think you can swan back in with your good looks and your boyfriend. You disgust me Hummel." _

"_No, I make you jealous because I'm not afraid to embrace who I am, unlike yourself." Kurt shot back._

"_Don't push me Hummel, don't you dare." _

"_You think I care what you do to me anymore? I'm not going to let you beat me again, I came back to stand up to my demons, to have courage, and not even you can take it away from me. So hurt me all you like, it won't change who I am." He tilted his chin up defiantly, assuring Karofsky that he wasn't to be messed with. David smirked and took this as invitation, not hesitating before swinging the blunt instrument (which Kurt later found out was a gardening trowel) towards Kurt's face. Despite his trying to duck, it still glanced off the top of Kurt's head and once again sent him slumping to the floor. This time however Karofsky straddled his waist, laying into his face and chest and arms with heavy fists. Kurt however wasn't about to be beaten; he kept his eyes open and didn't make a sound until Karofsky, breathing heavily, pushed himself up off the smaller boy. _

"_You're brave Hummel, I'll give you that-"_

"_-And you're a dick." Kurt interrupted rudely, ignoring the pain speaking caused in his jaw._

"_But I knew you were strong. Unfortunately, I also know you'd do anything to protect the people you love, so if I say, threatened Blaine for instance…" He trailed off, leaving the threat unsaid but obvious._

"_You bastard." He breathed, "Leave Blaine out of this, he's never done anything but try to help you." _

"_He's a fag, just like you, and it's disgusting. The way you two parade around town, holding hands and pooping rainbows and unicorns. It's sickening, and I won't stand for it anymore. I loved you at one stage Kurt, and I'll be damned if that little fairy gets what I didn't."_

"_You're a coward Karofsky; if you'd just come out and admit to yourself and everyone else that you're gay, just like Blaine and I, then maybe you'd be able to get this too. Maybe you could be happy." Kurt was trying to keep the desperation out of his tone; if Karofsky did anything to Blaine…_

"_I don't care what you say Hummel. Either you get the hell away from Blaine and stay the hell away from Blaine, or you watch him die. Your choice." _

"_When are you going to see that death threats won't work forever? Please, if you need to hurt someone, hurt me, I'm the one you have a problem with." Kurt was practically pleading now, only a thin shred of pride kept him from dropping to his knees. _

"_I'm waiting for an answer." _

"_Please David, don't do this. Blaine doesn't deserve it, hurt me."_

"_But if I hurt Blaine, I hurt you anyway, and by making you leave Blaine, you both get hurt again. Either way it's a win for me, but heartbreak for you. What's your choice Hummel? If you don't decide soon I'll beat Blaine up anyway, just for the fun of it." _

"_I'll go." Kurt whispered, tears stinging his eyes. "Please just stay away from Blaine; I'll leave, I'll never come back, just please don't hurt him." Karofsky tried to ignore the uncomfortable twisting in his chest at the sight of Kurt's tears; this boy had infected him with his gay, made him no more than a lousy fag whose father hated him for it. _

"_If I ever see you and your little hobbit boyfriend together again, I won't hesitate to break every single bone in each of your bodies." Karofsky spat in the smaller boys face before throwing one last punch to his jaw, sending his head smashing into the concrete floor and knocking him out cold. _

_When Kurt came to a faint grey light was beginning to seep over the horizon. He hadn't forgotten the promise he'd just made Karofsky; he needed to get out of there quick, meaning he had to get back to Blaine and get his stuff. Blaine. How was he supposed to make the other boy understand? If he told the truth, Blaine would insist to high heaven that he stay behind. He wouldn't understand because he hadn't seen the malice and disgust in David Karofsky's face as he'd spat out all those terrible words and threats. He'd never understood that ultimately Kurt was a selfish man; and that, while he knew his leaving would cause Blaine the acutest of pain, he wouldn't have to stand by and see it, the way he would if he stood by his side. Kurt could deal with endless amounts of pain himself; but seeing Blaine in any at all would kill him. Kurt knew, as he began limping towards his car, that he would never move on from Blaine, there would never be another, but that didn't mean that the same was true for his boyfriend. As much as it hurt to think about it, there was a very good possibility that Blaine could grieve but then get on with his life and find love again. These thoughts swam around Kurt's head, trying to pacify him for the entire journey home. _

_**Dear Blaine,**_

_**I love you.**_

_**I don't expect you to understand, because I hardly do myself, but please know that those words are true.**_

_**You are everything that is good in my life, and you saved me so many times; from bullies, from loneliness, from myself. If it weren't for you I wouldn't know what happiness is; but with you I was happier than I ever hoped I could be, which is why it kills me to write this note. **_

_**I have to say goodbye Blaine. I know it'll break your heart; believe me, it'll break mine too, but I have to go, for reasons I can't explain and never will be able to. **_

_**Don't search for me. Don't even remember me. Just grieve your loss, and then move on. There are so many guys out there Blaine, and all of them are better than I am.**_

_**I really do wish you all the best, and I will always love you. **_

_**Forever and a day,**_

_**Kurt. **_

_Kurt hovered over the note, reading it and rereading it as he threw all of his belongings silently into a bag. There was just one memory flashing through his mind as he dithered about it, a promise he'd made. _I'm never saying goodbye to you. _This note would break that promise, but perhaps it would be closure for the dark haired man sleeping so blissfully unaware just five feet away. Who was he kidding? This note would just spur Blaine on, make him come searching for answers. And Kurt would already be breaking Blaine's heart, could he really bear to break that promise too? Folding up the piece of paper he tucked it into the back pocket of his jeans, zipping up the duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder. _

"_I'm so sorry Blaine. Forget about me." He pressed a soft kiss to the forehead of his love and then was gone, tears flowing ceaselessly and silently down his face. As he reached the entrance to the building, he spotted a burly figure in the shadows, eyes watching his every move. There was a satisfied nod from Karofsky as he watched Kurt get into the car and drive away, shoulders trembling with withheld sobs. _

_Twelve hours later and Kurt was sitting in his new dorm at NYCDA (he'd arranged a room swap with a friend of his via phone whilst in the car), the tears still hadn't stopped flowing as he stared blankly at the wall, trying to ignore the frequent chirps of his phone as message after message came through. He had to be strong, be tough, to coin a phrase, be a man about this (sorry, I couldn't resist ;P) His duffel bag had been slung on the bed and untouched since he'd arrived. The only thing he was really aware of was the dreadful pain ripping his chest apart, threatening to tear him to pieces and his arms curled around his chest were the only things preventing it. Everything he'd known felt wrong now, different, and he didn't see how it could ever be the same again. _

_This feeling of change followed him through the years, and he did all he could to accommodate it. The constant fear of Karofsky gradually ebbed away, but not before he changed himself. No longer did he wear designer, or even particularly fabulous clothes, he ceased drawing so much attention to himself in classes and didn't tell anyone he was gay unless they asked, which was much less frequent now that he was blending in. He even forced himself to speak in a lower tone. He couldn't bear to remain in contact with anyone from his past; not even his father and Carole; it was too painful to remember anything that linked with Blaine. He also very rarely smiled, let alone laughed, and spent a whole lot of time alone in his room. Over time he stopped crying himself to sleep every night over the lack of Blaine in his bed, but not one day went past where he didn't think about the boy. What he was doing? What he looked like? Where he even was? Despite having long removed the boy from his facebook, he still regularly looked him up, and was hurt by the images of the boy he loved smiling and having fun with friends they used to share, even Kurt's own brother and family. Three seats went empty at his graduation, because while he had booked the seats for his brother and parents, he couldn't bring himself to send them invitations. The same happened with his first off-Broadway production after college. He made a few friends, Tessa for example, but mostly kept to himself, and remained miserable until the day he saw Blaine in the audience at his show. Since then he'd almost remembered how to live. _

Blaine was silent, his face pale as Kurt drew to a close and he looked as though he may throw up. The taller boy couldn't remove his eyes from their intertwined fingers for fear of what he'd see on Blaine's face. Maybe it'd be better if Blaine just left him; what he'd done had been cowardly, and he wouldn't blame the other man for hating him. Suddenly there were fingers on his chin, tipping his face up to meet hazel eyes. Instead of horror, disgust, hatred, Kurt merely saw tears in his lover's eyes, and found himself reaching out to brush them away, cupping Blaine's cheek with his hand.

"I love you." Blaine whispered. "I love you so much." Kurt felt himself crying as well, overcome with so many emotions he couldn't identify any, except the most important.

"I love you too. I have _always_ loved you. I never wanted to leave." He was practically begging Blaine to forgive him.

"I know, I know you didn't. I understand now. I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me if you weren't ready." He could feel Kurt's hands trembling violently, see the anguish and fear in his eyes.

"You deserved to know. This isn't just about me, and I needed to tell someone, but you were the only person I could tell."

"You're the bravest person I've ever met. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for blaming you all this time."

"Don't be, love," Kurt pressed a light kiss to his forehead, "I gave you no reason not to blame me. And I'm not brave, I ran away."

"To save me, at the expense of your own happiness by the sound of it. I never knew you felt so strongly." Blaine's eyes were warm, tender, and it was all Kurt could do not to jump him then and there. There was a slight bruise along his cheek, where Eli's hand had caught him, but apparently Blaine barely noticed, for he frowned when Kurt traced it with delicate fingers.

"Of course I felt that strongly; how could I not? You're perfect Blaine, even your flaws are perfect, there was no way I'd ever get over you, I just hoped you didn't feel the same." Kurt's voice was soft; the look in his eyes told Blaine exactly what he was thinking about. Eli. From Kurt's perspective, it would look like Blaine didn't feel the same but he did, he'd always been crazy about Kurt, however involved he got with Eli or any other man. The merest hint of attention from Kurt and he'd come running back, every time.

"I never stopped loving you Kurt, I know it looks like I did, what with Eli and everything, but it's true. You've always been the stronger of the two of us; after you left and I realised you weren't coming back I felt so alone. I've always been needier than you, so I started having flings with guys, nothing serious, just enough that I could be with someone and pretend it was still you. None of them meant anything." Blaine cursed his sudden inability to explain himself properly.

"Eli did." Kurt smiled sadly, but cut Blaine off when he attempted to protest. "I saw how you looked at him Blaine, you were worried, and it hurt you to see him like he was earlier. I know you more than anything or anyone, so don't try and tell me I'm wrong. Maybe what you had with him wasn't what you had with me, maybe it wasn't love, but don't belittle what you had by saying it was nothing."

"You're right Kurt," Blaine sighed, "Eli did mean more than the others, but you are everything to me. He's a flashlight, while you're the moon. He's a puddle while you're the whole damn ocean. I'm in love with _you_ Kurt, compared to that, Eli _is_ nothing." Blaine's face was so clear, so earnest, that Kurt couldn't help himself. He leaned forward desperately, and roughly pressed his lips to Blaine. Blaine didn't even hesitate before kissing back, locking his fingers tight in Kurt's hair while the other boy's hands caressed the muscles in his back. Kurt knew both of their emotions were running too high, that the smallest kiss would have lead to this show of reckless passion, but when Blaine pushed him gently backwards so he was pinned between the sofa and his boyfriend's body, he couldn't bring himself to stop it. Gasping for air, Blaine pulled away, but Kurt's lips just went for his neck, pressing kisses and trailing his tongue over the sweet skin he hadn't tasted in so long. Blaine was like a drug, and despite knowing that neither of them was ready for this step yet, he couldn't stop himself from indulging.

"Kurt." Blaine moaned softly, eyes shut as he panted desperately. Blaine couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this good; sure he'd had sex since Kurt, but none of his partners had ever made him feel this good, this loved. "I love you." Kurt had to peel his lips away, a wide grin spreading over his face.

"I love you too Blaine, more than anything." And once again, they were lost in each other's lips.


End file.
